Guide to Finding a Neurodiversity-Affirming Provider
*For those new to learning about neurodiversity affirming care, I’ve included a few key definitions for accessibility purposes.
Neurodiversity: Naturally occurring variation of human minds; there are differences in how individuals think, learn, behave and interact AND these differences are a natural part of biodiversity.
Neurodivergent: A person who thinks, learns, behaves, or communicates differently from the current social norms.
Neuronormativity: Norms and expectations that are set by society which center particular ways of thinking, behaving, communicating. It privileges neurotypical ways of being and others neurodivergent ways of being. (Similar sentiment to heteronormativity)
Mask/Masking: The experience of intentionally trying to hide one’s neurodivergent traits by acting in neuronormative ways. The term is derived from the acting world in which you may put on a mask and take on the persona of a character. Neurodivergent individuals may engage in masking in order to: avoid criticism or rejection, increase sense of belonging, avoid stigma, be seen as successful in work or school, to promote internal and physical safety, to decrease anxiety, and more.
Finding a Neurodiversity - Affirming Provider
The neurodiversity movement has gained substantial traction in recent years. As more neurodivergent individuals are becoming aware of and are drawn to the neurodiversity paradigm, they are wanting to seek out providers that understand and practice from a neurodiversity affirming approach.
As an example, ADHD is one neurotype of many that fall under the neurodivergent umbrella. ADHDers struggle with being able to think, communicate, and process information in neuronormative ways. Consistently not being able to meet these ascribed social norms can lead to shame, low self esteem, loss of sense of self, people pleasing, isolation, loneliness and more. Having support professionals who understand and can validate the ADHDer's lived experiences can be invaluable.
Unfortunately, most helping professionals including doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, mental health therapists and other allied professionals, receive little to no education around most neurotypes beyond knowing diagnostic criteria for “mental disorders”. Any education that does exist typically falls within the medical model approach, where the goal is to help the neurodivergent individual be more like everyone else. While helping people appear more “normal” may seem helpful on the surface, this approach often creates harm for neurodivergent individuals. As hard as they might try to “act normal”, acting in neuronormative ways will never come naturally due to the inherent brain differences. It leads to these individuals needing to mask their true selves, which leads to burnout, exhaustion, and lack of sense of self. They also are left with more shame, often feeling like a failure because despite the amount of effort put in, they just aren't able to consistently meet neuronormative expectations.
Given all this, It's no wonder that today, more than ever before, neurodivergent individuals are seeking providers who affirm the neurodiversity paradigm. To better understand what it means to be a neurodiversity-affirming professional, check out the Fundamentals of Neurodiversity-Affirming Care shared on a previous blog.
With a sea of providers to sort through, finding one who is neurodiversity-affirming AND has openings for new clients, AND meets your financial needs AND feels like a good fit can be extremely challenging. To add even more difficulty to that challenge, not all providers who might advertise themselves as neurodiversity affirming are actively embodying the Fundamentals of Neurodiversity-Affirming Care.
Guide to finding a neurodiversity-affirming provider (therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, etc.) :
I highly recommend starting by reading my previous blog titled “Becoming a Neurodiversity-Affirming Helping Professional”, so that you can fully understand what is being recommended to providers, so you are in a better position to assess whether a provider might meet those standards. Once you have an understanding of the fundamentals, consider the following tips:
Seek recommendations for providers from individuals with the same neurotype as yourself. Hearing about how others with similar experiences to your own have felt about certain providers can be very valuable. Given all that I’ve stated before about lack of education, there are often many providers who think they are providing helpful care, and don’t recognize that they are encouraging masking or not affirming the individual.
Consider working with a provider who identifies as neurodivergent themselves. You often have a better chance finding someone who "gets it" when they have lived experience themselves. It’s important to note that not all providers who identify as neurodivergent choose to identify publicly since there continues to be stigma that can create personal and professional hardships. It's also important to acknowledge that just because a provider identifies as being neurodivergent themself doesn't mean they are familiar with all neurotypes, nor does it guarantee they work from a neurodiversity- affirming approach as internalized ableism is a very real thing.
There's a couple of directories that feature only providers who identify as neurodivergent.
www.ndtherapists.com and https://neurodivergentpractitioners.org/
Once you've found a few potential providers to consider you may want to follow these steps:
Look over their website or any promotional materials. Do they utilize neurodiversity related language? Does the language they use appear to be current? (As an example, with ADHD, I would expect to see that they do not differentiate ADD from ADHD as ADD has not existed as a formal diagnosis since 1987.) Do they mention being neurodiversity-affirming? Do they specifically indicate that they work with individuals of your neurotype?
Be aware that as more providers become aware of neurodiversity language many have started using this language for marketing purposes, without actually putting in the work to understand and subscribe to a model of neurodiversity-affirming care. Also, just because someone checks a box that they work with your neurotype does not mean they do so in a neurodiversity-affirming way. Doing both of these things is a good start, but asking more questions might be needed to really get a sense of their approach.
Ask the provider questions. This may feel daunting or intrusive, but remember you are paying them for a service. This is no different than if you were to ask a contractor about their experience adding additions onto homes before you hired them to do an addition on your own home.
Some providers may have varying preferences about the methods they use for responding to questions (email, phone, etc.) A neurodiversity-affirming provider is likely to welcome the following types of questions and actually understands the reasons why one might feel the need to have some reassurance about fit before starting services. If a provider seems bothered or upset by your asking questions, this may be a red flag. (As a provider myself, I actually get really excited when someone asks me these types of questions, as I know they've likely been doing their own self learning and I look forward to being able to have really meaningful conversations with them!)
As you ask them questions, pay attention to how you feel as during the discussion. Does the provider seem authentic? Do they give any responses that don't sit right with you? Can you imagine yourself feeling safe, heard, validated with them? Do they seem willing to have a collaborative approach and accommodate your needs?
Here's some questions you might want to ask:
Can you tell me a little bit about your experience working with (ENTER YOUR NEUROTYPE HERE) clients?
What approaches do you use when working with (ENTER YOUR NEUROTYPE HERE) clients?
What articles, trainings or books have you found helpful to understand neurodiversity (or your specific neurodivergence)?
What accommodations might you provide for my executive functioning differences?
If you are comfortable sharing, do you identify as (ENTER YOUR NEUROTYPE HERE) yourself?
Do you provide any sensory accommodations?
Do you offer different forms of communication depending on my needs?
Additional questions to consider (if applicable):
Do you have an understanding of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)?
Do you have an understanding of RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria)?
Have you worked with individuals with medical trauma/complex medical needs?
What trauma treatment approaches do you utilize?
Do you have experience working with clients with trauma from past therapy experiences?
Ultimately, you may not know for certain if they are the right fit until you actually begin working with them and it may take a few sessions to really get a sense of that. If you decide it’s not working, it’s ok for you to end services and find someone who feels like a better fit. The provider’s feelings are not your responsibility. Finding a neurodiversity-affirming provider can allow you to feel heard and understood. They can help you work on understanding your neurotype and if necessary, help you to release any shame you might be holding around not meeting neuronormative expectations. You deserve affirming supports!
